This past couple of days have truly hit “all the feels.” Here’s just a sampling of some of the emotions I’ve felt, sometimes all in the same hour, sometimes all in the same 10 minutes.
Relief. Relief that we had the ability to quickly get out of town and get my son from college who’d been displaced from his last semester and have him home.
Grateful. Grateful for doctors and nurses who are on the front lines dealing with sick people every day, grateful for the sacrifices businesses (small and large) are making, thankful for the helpers. Grateful for journalists who are working round the clock to keep us informed of what’s really going on. Thankful and appreciative for the amount of work teachers and administrators have put in trying to wrap their heads around how to “do school,” knowing that they won’t be able to please everyone and that changes seem to happen on a dime.
And sadness. So much change. And so quickly! Sad for the disruption to life as we typically know it..for teachers and administrators trying to figure out the best way to “do school.” For seniors in HS and college. I was thinking about how happy and hopeful we felt on the quad when we dropped our son off at school 3-1/2 years ago, and how sad and lonely the campus seemed when we got him on Saturday. Sadness for the seniors in my school, not knowing whether, or when, any of the senior “things” they’ve looked forward to for years will happen. Sadness that I don’t know when I’ll see my students in person again or carry out traditions that we do near the end of the year in my classes each year. Sadness for families who struggle and will be dramatically effected economically by what’s going on. Sadness for people who are sick and dying of this virus. Sadness for those who are considered among the more vulnerable and are scared for their lives right now.
Angry. Angry for many of the same reasons as above. Angry that our federal government bungled this so much and yet still says their response has been “great and unprecedented.” Angry that people called this a hoax, that they assigned some political agenda to this. Since when is public health a partisan issue, anyway?
Happiness. Happy to read of families having great attitudes about being forced to slow down and enjoy time together. Families sharing resources and ideas online for how to plunge forward in the coming days and weeks.
And hopeful. I’m hopeful that these measures we’re taking will contain the virus. I heard someone on the radio the other day say they were concerned that the social distancing works so well that people will say this was all hyped when, in fact, the reason cases started dropping was that the measures worked. I’m hopeful that people will continue being kind to each other. Hasn’t it been lovely the way people have been smiling at others, acknowledging them, making offers to tutor each others’ kids online? I’m hopeful that we will continue to offer grace and compassion to others. Most teachers have never delivered content to full classes of students for long stretches of time. It’s uncharted territory. Most schools haven’t closed for extended periods of time. It’s also uncharted territory. Mistakes will be made. Infrastructure may not handle it well. Parents will be frustrated. Teachers will be frustrated and everyone will need to have compassion for each other. I’m hopeful we can have compassion for young people whose big milestone events are up in the air and might be sad about it and have every right to be. Being sad, and even saying so, doesn’t mean they are spoiled or lack resiliency. You can be sad and still grateful for the first responders all at the same time. I’m hopeful we can have compassion for each other as the newness of our situation wears off and reality sets in.
I know I’m not alone with these thoughts and swirl of emotions. I think again, back to Ma and Pa trudging across the prairie in a horse drawn buggy with 3 young girls (or was it four? Albert? Who knows how many they really had, anyway?). Imagine the uncertainty they felt as they embarked on new lives in new places. We’re kind of in the place of a new normal now, but the certainty is that we can stay connected, at least virtually, and that we’ll come out of this stronger than we were before. And hopefully, the kindness and compassion that we expend during this period of time will carry into the future when we’re on the other side of this.
