I know I've said it before, but I am really not a great blogger. I'm not even sure I feel right calling myself one. I just have a site that I occasionally write on when I feel the need to write. I read blogs of people who are true bloggers. I'm not sure if I am able to open myself up in that way, either online or even in a journal, because the truth is, the way I have kept this blog is pretty much exactly the way I have journaled in my lifetime. And the funny thing is that I am a) a decent enough writer and b) reflective enough that I have enough to say. So I'm not sure why I don't write more often.
And what brought me back to my blog this week (for the first time since 2011) is the amount of reflecting I have been doing this monumental week of my older son's high school graduation. The rational part of me says that the milestone that comes with your graduating child is exactly as life should be. We were never meant to have our kids with us forever. We had kids in order for them to grow up and go out and follow their live's paths. But it's really hard to be rational, isn't it? I long for the days where I was begging my son to go off and play on his own (because I was worried that he was too dependent on me). If those days were here, I promise I'd play with him and let him boss me around and tell me what to do. If those days were here, I'd read the Truck Book...AGAIN! and I'd do it without a rolled eye or sigh. If those days were here, I'd play Uncle Wiggly and not get mad at him for being too competitive. I would do it all and I'd do it without complaint.
We are full of advice for graduating seniors. I wrote my son a letter full of important words of wisdom and the words that I hadn't told him but needed him to hear from me and gave it to him on Graduation Day. But where is the advice for the mom of the graduating senior? How to enjoy the time you have left before they leave. How to not spend all your time worrying because they aren't home as much since they want to be with their friends and you just want to know they are home and safe in their bed at night. How to be really excited for this next leg of their lives' journeys and mean it. How to not argue with them and their sloppy ways or how to just be and prepare for moving onto this next phase of their lives. Or even how to figure out what your (and your husband's) path is when he (and in a few years his brother) are both out of the house and onto their adult lives. These are the things we moms need to know and I'm hopeful that since I know many who are in the same boat with me right now, we will figure them out together.
