I sometimes think my memory is faulty. I wonder why I don't remember more about my past, or why the memories I tend to have come out more negatively than I'd like them to. I wish I could see or even hear myself as a kid, having a conversation with my family, in the voices that we had, not the voices that we have now. But I really want my kids' memories to be better, happier, clearer. I feel like with things like digital media, or even video, attempts at scrapbooks and millions of photos of them and their childhoods, they will have many of their actual memories there at the push of a button. Certainly with social media taking off toward the beginning of their teen years, many of their memories are not only on their walls for their own consumption, but for that of any of their friends, followers, or whoever. But is that the same as what's in our brains?
A couple of years ago, I saw an idea on Pinterest that we decided to adapt. It was to make a memory jar of our year. It's hard to start a new tradition with a family of teen boys, but that's just what we did. We just finished our second year doing this, and while my husband and I are the primary fillers of the jar (well, the only fillers of the jar so far), the time spent together reading the slips of paper tonight was time well spent. We noticed definite themes: My oldest graduated from high school and started college....his brother has worked hard at his music, his schoolwork and his swimming. Lots of things to be proud of and happy about.
When we finished reading and the boys had been excused from the table, my husband asked me what surprised me when we'd read through the jar. And I think for me, it came back to how our experiences become our memory. So I need to backtrack for a second. My husband had a big milestone birthday last year, and for at least the last few months, I've been thinking that I didn't do enough for him on his birthday. He'd never said anything of the sort and would say I'd done plenty...this was all me and my brain. What I remembered was how I'd made him a special throwback photo and worked very hard at it even though it kind of flopped, and I think that's where my memory ended. But when we were reading the slips tonight, there was the one about his birthday and how I'd had stone crabs delivered from a restaurant in Florida. I had completely forgotten about that. Our experiences influence our memories...indeed they do.
So I am going to list the biggies from the jar before I toss the slips (and the actual written memories) away:
- Bittersweet memories of seeing my son play basketball for his school for the last time...seeing him walk through the hallway at school for his last time as a student!
- Graduation!
- Started College!
- Took time off IM!
- Took time off breast...won race at Pheiffer College meet!
- Both boys worked hard at school this year!
- Birthdays!
- Special birthdays and special trips: Atlanta to meet our great nephew, Cooper (and eat at my beloved Sweet Tomatoes); surprise trip to Savannah last week and visiting as a tourist
- Visits to college, visits home
- Worth mentioning, but didn't make it into the jar: Cleveland trip last summer: Indians game, Cedar Point, Skyline Chili, Football Hall of Fame.
