Donning and Doffing My Mask as a New School Year Begins

This week, like teachers all over, I headed back into school, after leaving at the end of a teacher workday on March 13th and never going back to finish out our year in person. Though I’ve been back in my room a few times since, walking in for the first time this week was a bit of a gut punch. 

The Vienna wall calendar my son gave me as a gift, still turned to its March page. Words on my white board, never erased: “Once upon a time…suddenly…fortunately…” (a reminder to use them in my never given next day’s planned lesson on storytelling through video). The bulletin board on the wall above my desk with trinkets and drawings from kids over the years, pictures of past advisory groups, all exactly as I’d left them. Tears may have fallen as the heaviness of this year came rushing back as it so often does.

I worked a bit on my room, moving furniture out of the way and putting tables into place so that it adheres to the new lower capacity of the space in preparation for that time in the future when we may have kids back in our building. I donned my mask and left my room and waved to old friends from a distance. I had my temperature checked, worried when it measured high, sighed with relief when the next try didn’t and answered the health questions with "no's." I took part in Zoom meetings, had Zoom conferences with parents. 

I sat down and looked at my MacBook to start putting all the ideas I’ve had swirling in my head the past two months into actual lessons for next week’s first week of remote virtual school, using the different apps we’ve had professional development for and training on all summer. I stalled a little and then stalled a little more and then finally got to work. For real. Creating lessons, activities and assignments for students to work through on their own in their own homes. Asking myself, “Is this engaging enough? Is it too much work? Not enough?” Recording screencasts, stuttering and stumbling through words for an embarrassing too many seconds, hitting stop, delete and starting over wondering, “Am I too energetic? Not energetic enough? Will they get my personality or humor over video? Talking too fast?” (more than likely yes to that last one!). Thinking about how to best use synchronous Zoom sessions to build relationships and start creating awesome content this year.

I’m pretty sure some version of that scenario played out in classrooms not just on my campus, but in campuses across the country this week. And you know what I think people need to know? Particularly the ones who don’t teach children for a living? Or the ones who think teachers are lazy and don’t want to work because they expressed concern about scary rates of transmission and percent positive Covid numbers and worry for their lives and those of their family members? Or the ones who feel the need to protest impossible decisions forced upon school administrators in a country plagued by an unrelenting pandemic, yet don’t want to do the hard work to help make it go away because of a misguided political agenda? Or the ones who call themselves “pro life” but at the same time publicly express, “Well, some live and some die, that’s how life goes?” The ones who hold elected office and are insisting schools open for in-person instruction, even while their own children will be attending school virtually this fall? 

They need to know that virtual school is absolutely real school. And it is an incredible amount of work to pull off and do well. They need to know that teachers everywhere would give anything to be with their full classes and do things the way they used to. That the safety protocols, while important and necessary, aren’t fun and will make school feel less like the “real school” some politicians are demanding when kids do finally come back. That they’re also all coming off a summer that wasn’t really a summer, where they’ve worked and learned and opened their minds to new ways of doing things, all in the service of doing what’s best for children and their learning, while also being aware that they need to be there to help with their social emotional needs, too. 

If they’re like me, they’re scared and excited all at the same time. Scared of the unknown, scared of the uncertainty. Excited for new opportunities and learning and growth. When I recorded one of my course introduction videos, I told my students what a college professor I had in a summer course a few years ago said: “If we always do things the way we’ve always done them, then we always do things the way we’ve always done them.” What a weird but necessary gift we’ve been handed to try something new and see if this can bring education into a more modern era. That instead of technology for technology's sake in the name of "21st Century Skills," using technology purposefully and gaining true skills 20 years into the 21st Century.

Doffing my mask as I got in my car after finishing a week of work at school for the first time in five months, I got home feeling that Friday night exhaustion that used to feel so familiar. I scrolled through my Facebook page, reading post after post from teacher friends (at my school, across the state, around the country), all mirroring what I was feeling. That prepping for in-person school is easier than prepping for virtual. That they’re doing what teachers do. They’re thinking about how to make learning fun and engaging for children. Different this year, to be sure, but finding ways to give them the best of themselves that they can. 

And so, here’s to the beginning of Year 17 for me, which is so different from how I started any of the previous 16.

Back to School

This past week, I took a class at UNC-Chapel Hill as part of the NC Scholastic Media Association's Teaching Fellows program. Each summer the NCSMA offers a graduate level class to media/journalism teachers and covers the cost of it. It was a great opportunity and this was my second time taking part in this program. The focus of the course was teaching design (graphic design) to high school students and was a semester's worth of content taught in a week.

I went into the course with limited knowledge on the topic and little to no experience using the apps we were using in the class. There were six students in our class; our teacher was a renowned professor, quite accomplished in his field.  As the week wore on, I noticed many subtle and not so subtle ways that this class, even though it was just one week, mimicked "real life" classrooms, or at least the experience that students have in school.

What follows are some random thoughts and takeaways I had during this week:

Even though there were just six of us in the class, we sort of had the same "cast of characters" you'd find in classrooms anywhere. We had the high flyer who got it right away and took work to the next level. Some plugged away at their work, quietly minding their own business. Others would speak out as they worked through figuring out what needed to be done. Some would show their frustration out loud. Others would not.

Just like in real life, relationships drive the dynamics of the classroom. As we got to know each other better, we were more helpful and solicitous of each other, and the time our teacher took on the first day to get to know each of us and learn about "where we were coming from" helped set the tone for the course and week, as well. Developing these relationships throughout the week made us feel more comfortable with the critiquing process we worked through on the last two days of the class.

Learning can be hard! And messy.  And comes in starts and spurts. Parts of this class were difficult for me, and as I worked through the frustration of not "getting it" the first time (or even the second time), I felt humbled and developed a much greater understanding for what students might go through at school.  It was almost like my brain went through a virtual "rolodex" of thoughts during the harder parts: "Wow, this is cool." "Oh, I'm not good at this." "Why can't I get it?" "What's wrong with me?" "I'm disappointed that it wasn't easier; I thought it would be." "Ohhhh, now I get it....that makes more sense." "Wow, look what I created!" "I bet I can do this with more practice."

Designing projects. Well, it can be intimidating, exciting and difficult...all at the same time. When our teacher handed out project instructions, I'd notice some of my classmates coming up with ideas fairly quickly, but I would have a hard time even getting started and maybe feel a bit of anxiety as I thought, "I can't think of anything creative to do." I know students sometimes feel like this, too. When we were given our last project, I had a list of ideas, finally decided on a topic, went through steps of the design thinking process, and began developing a vision for it/sketching iterations. But after getting started and plugging away for a couple of hours, I realized that my plan wasn't fully developed and I felt stuck, so had to go back and regroup.

Not only do I see this sort of thing happen with my students, I'm pretty sure I caution against getting started before having a well developed plan, and yet, I was so excited to get to work, I did just that! I learned many things about going through the process of really developing a project from scratch and I think the way I teach this process to students is going to look much different when we go back to school next month.

I love getting into a working state of flow. This isn't a new for me, but I was really aware of it during this class, when we would have a good chunk of dedicated work time. I'd have an ear bud in, music playing and really focus on my work. I want my students to experience that more and know what it feels like to get to a place where you're so into what you're doing you almost lose awareness of what else is going on around you.

Grading vs Feedback. When I got my first grade, which was just okay, I was disappointed. I wondered it it was worth it. When I got my second grade, which was a bit better than the first and accompanied by a good amount of constructive feedback, I felt better.  Learning how to give quality feedback is so much more important that just a number grade. It's what will actually help students learn, improve and grow. Giving better feedback was one of my stated goals at the end of last school year for this coming school year and I was happy to experience quality feedback in action, particularly as we presented our final projects,  to get better ideas of what I want it to look like in my class.

I really learned a ton this week in this class. Content wise, well, when I look at my final project vs. the first day, it kind of stuns me. And I'm looking forward to working at getting much better at this and introducing these concepts to my students. But I learned much more than that. I was talking to my classmates about much of what I've written here and one said how valuable he thinks the experience of taking an actual class like this is, where you are given real assignments to complete and I completely agree. Experiencing the highs and lows of being a student, even if just for a week, can only make me be a better, more empathetic teacher and even though I'm kind of feeling a bit of the "mid July blues" because summer is practically over, I am also almost ready to start looking forward and getting excited for the possibilities that this coming school year holds.